3:16 pm on 12-26-04
What if life was a constant state of dejavue?
I would like to apologize to star0 for not mentioning his invitation to his new years celebration. He was the first to invite me to something after my plans were cancelled, but logistics will keep me from attending. I am sure that it would have been a fine evening.
I�m glad that xmas is over. I had a melancholy night on Friday, mostly due to my brother not being here. But it wasn�t as bad as it could have been. It was nice to see my cousins from out of state and their kids�who provided most of the entertainment for the evening. At one point one of my cousin s mentioned jager bombs. I told him, yea maybe if we had jager and red bull sitting around. He then pulls out a bag and pronounces merry xmas. Ok, well I�m at home, so line them up. I did feel fine yesterday morning, but I know I drank a ton on Friday.
Yesterday was a blah day. I kept on having dejavue. Like yesterday had already happened, but somehow it was happening all over again. So that got me thinking, because I swear it happened like 12 times yesterday. What if our lives are in a constant state of dejavue? Like when you write a paper for a class and you don�t like how it turns out so you crumple it up and start over again�I wonder if that�s what was going on yesterday. Someone is writing my life story and didn�t like how the day was turning out, so they kept on crumpling it up. Well you know what, I want to crumple up my own life story sometimes.
Last night I went out with another cousin who was in from Arizona. I haven�t seen him since June, so it was real good to see him, plus we had our Christmas night tradition of bar hopping to uphold. (I�m really not an alcoholic, I swear)�We ventured to two of the western avenue bars and then decided to go to a get together that a friend of mine was having. T was so excited and glad to have gone to the get together instead of staying out at the bars. He knows several of my friends and he gets along with them so well. I was really glad to see him have a good time. It was good to see him and talk about all the things we used to do when we were younger. I�m glad that we are as close as we are now. At 4am I decided that it was time to get going. T�s parents live about a mile from me and about 4 blocks from where we were, so I was home by 4:20am. And then I couldn�t fall asleep. It was that dejavue thing bugging me.
It would be nice sometimes to wake up one day and say, �you know what, I didn�t like how yesterday turned out, I�m gonna go back and start all over and keep only the good parts of the day��If I had my way, I�d wake up tomorrow morning and say, �damnit, I shouldn�t have had that beef and cheddar from portillos yesterday��
I have tentative plans to go up to Milwaukee towards the end of January. My other cousin is in some big play productions / improv up there, so I am going to head up there and see one of his shows. He is supposed to be excellent. The only thing that�s keeping him from coming back to Chicago and working with second city is his lease (or something like that)�.