3:21 p.m. on 2003-12-12
it's just a freaking crummy week..isn't it?
Well so much for a fun filled exciting four day weekend. It's already friday afternoon and I am dreading the arrival of MOnday morning. ugh.
So I emailed K the other day and asked her if benefits buddy and her have been emailing each other. She replied with a yes and told me what the most recent email was about. extremely innocent, yet I decided to flip out. Why? I don't know. Wednesday night I went over to benefits place and he and I and a friend of his went out to dinner. In the car I proceeded to make myself look like a jealous little snot and asked why he had to email her and what was the whole deal with it. I talked to K today and she says that she would never say anything about anything I ever said to her and I believe her and then she tells me that she thinks I am mad at her. I told her that I was perturbed the other day but I am attributing it to the fact that I am just emotionally and physically drained and I was getting my period which started today anyway. So I just kind of flipped out and now I realize that it was very stupid of me to do. so that's over and done with.
So wednesday was pretty amusing playing cards with j and his roommate and friends. one time i bet 50 cents and i guess they were pretty shocked. It was only 5 dollars that we had to play with and I lost 8 dollars somehow. We played some 'screw your neighbor' or something like that game. who knows because I got drunk. j and i fooled around and then i passed out. he said he tried to pull the act that I do =. like whenever we fool around i always chit chat after and j wants to sleep. he tried to do that and i just passed out. I was tired. So i got my xmas shopping done and now it's just wrapping everything. I kind of want to wrap everything now and put it all under the tree because it will look so pretty, but instead I just threw the stuff in the upstairs of the garage.
Yea my garage is like a little house...it's heated. and has an upstairs with a couple of sunlights and a little deck off of it. It's really cute. I should have it converted into a coach house and rent it out, it would be perfect for one or two people.
I went out last night and stayed out until about 3am. I had a good time, I was out with a good group of people from work. they are rock stars. and then this guy that I used to have a crush on was there. that's always fun.
yea, i lead the most exciting life. I get excited when its pizza night at my aunts house and i go over there and hang out with her and my uncle. i love them so much, and that's where I'm going tonight.
I was looking through some papers today and found this article about the grief process. It was weird because I don't know where it came from. It was in a pile of papers in my desk. So of course i try and figure out where in the grief process I am...and I have no clue. Is there a "i dont want to do a fucking thing except sleep" stage? That's what I think I am in, but then I feel guilty if I sleep the whole day. which I have not done at all in a long long time. yea as little a says "it's just a freaking crummy week, ain't it"
I think I feel a nap coming on until I go out. Maybe I'll get a movie to watch later.
Oh and thanks to everyone who's been emailing me/signing my guestbook with condolences and thoughts and what not. It really helps to know that what I am going through is normal...if there is a such thing as normal.
tata for now.