7:12 p.m. on 2003-10-28
state of being overwhelmed
I'm having one of those days. I have absolutely no motivation for anything. I was extremely overwhelmed at work today. I couldn't wait to get out of there. And I knew that when I got home I still had a ton of stuff to do, mainly alot of reading for class tomorrow night. I came home, threw some laundry in, watched CNN and then ventured into my quest of reading...well about 5 minutes into it, I decided that I wanted some yogurt. That production took about 45 minutes..4 minutes to eat yogurt and 41 minutes of CNN and MSNBC. I couldn't even tell you what was on the news. And that's another thing! When I'm on the train to school, I try and clear my mind, and think things through. I'll be driving to the train and I'll think to myself, ok, this is what I'm thinking about today..whether it be a topic from school, a project from work, something I read in the paper, or some awesome sex I had...but no, I can't even focus on any of that when I'm on the train. I try to, but it never happens. My mind is blank ....I don't focus on one damn thing at all.
I have an appointment thursday with my psychiatrist (i feel crazy saying that)...and I'm trying to think about what to talk about to him. It's not like I have had major pressing problems lately, but I need something to talk about. Maybe I'll ask him if he thinks I need to talk about anything...but wait, he'll tell me to talk about whatever.
I think my mind just has too much going around it and it's overload. Work, school, and everything else going on is just buidling up.
No wonder I'm overwhelmed.
I hate the feeling of being overwhelmed. I almost bring myself to tears, and it's only because I am stressed. Yea, and then today my benefits buddy emailed me and said that he was going out again with this girl on thursday night. I emailed him back saying that I didn't want to hear about it.. and I swear that email just was written like that, it was like I didn't even have to think about my response, my fingers just automatically typed that and hit send. what the fuck is with that. I thought I was over that. I am attributing it to my dilemma of overwhelmness today. i'm such a girl, I dwell on too much.
i could go on and on about stuff that happened at work today and how people aggravate the pister out of me...but I've typed enough. I think more about things when I type than when I am just sitting doing nothing...interesting.
oh well, night for now