10:37 pm on 05-04-04
take the first answer and deal with it
My aunt had surgery today and I totally forgot about it. But she�s ok. There�s this whole HIPAA � Health Information Privacy Act, and considering I work within the healthcare field, I am well aware of it and what it entails. Well, someone was in the main office today and I was out there doing something, and she says to me, �is someone in your family having surgery today?��I looked at her, not believing that she had the balls to ask that, and in shock, I replied, �Me? My family ? yea.��I should have said none of your god damned business. If we wanted her to know that my aunt was having surgery, we would have told you. This woman thinks that she should know everything. Ugh.
I was thinking today about how if S maybe lied about the whole banker boy talking about me and what not. I know she is so set on the two of us, meaning me and banker, hooking up, that I wonder if she made the story up knowing that I would contact him and say something about it. But still, why can�t he reply to a simple email? I�ve gone a little batty over this. I�ve even gone as far as to save all my deleted emails and sort through them all different ways thinking that I somehow deleted his email, and didn�t even see it. But no, there was no email from him. I don�t understand why he wouldn�t have replied though, I just don�t get it.
So I had a midterm in class tonight. Simple. I was the 2nd one done. It didn�t take long and I was able to come home and do some homework that is due Friday night. I finished it, except for one problem..I had a question on that.
So my mom asks me today if I have any plans for the weekend yet and I tell her what was going on, and she says, �oh you�re not going up north this weekend?��meaning that I didn�t have any plans to hang out with J this weekend. I told her no. She then looked at me and said that I hadn�t hung out with him in awhile and she wanted to know why. I said that we have both been pretty busy and I really shouldn�t be going up there every weekend. So then she says to me, �you don�t have feelings for J like you did for architect boy, do you? Because I know how hurt you were by architect boy, and I don�t want you to get hurt or anything��..jesus mom. We�re just friends. But I know what she means�
When I would hang out with architect boy all the time, we were together all the time, like we were dating, but we weren�t. And then one day I just decided that I liked him, and I told him that (of course, when I was drinking a lot)�so then, things just got weird between us, and I hated that�and at one point, I was so overwhelmed by where our friendship was going that I broke down and started crying to my mom about it.
So of course, I don�t talk to architect boy anymore, except for about a month or so ago when we were supposed to meet for dinner, but we never did�.and I haven�t heard from him since.
So I guess she thinks that�s what is going on between me and J. So then she starts asking me about who I am taking to the wedding and what not, and I tell her that I decided not to bring a date with me, and shockingly she says, �well why don�t you ask J?��because I don�t want to mom. Part of me wants to go with someone, but a bigger part of me just wants to go by myself. What do I need a date for anyway ? It�s not like I�ll be sitting by myself, and it�s not like I have to dance with anyone, and if I need to, there are plenty of guys there for me to dance with. Ugh the trials of being single.
I personally feel as if things are a little different between me and J..I don�t know what it is, but I just feel different about it now. It�s hard to explain.
So I was reading an article the other day about this girl who based every decision on a Magic 8 ball. She did this for approxiamately one month. I could never do that I�d be shaking the ball constantly until I got the answer I wanted.
This is how I should live my life�.take the first answer and deal with it, even if it�s not what I think I want�