9:17 pm on 02-22-04
Most of the time I am proud that I'm single
I feel the need to quit. I seem so busy, and have absolutely no down time for anything..and when I do think that I have time to sit around and do nothing, I feel guilty for not doing something productive, such as studying. Thursday night in class, I was talking to two people�who happen to take the exact same classes that I am, and they said that they can�t work because the classes are too hard. Too hard?!! Give me a break�I am taking the same classes as you, and still work over 40 hours a week. Don�t tell me about it being hard. If I didn�t work, I�d be taking 5 classes�
It�s almost to the point where I am just thinking about taking a leave of absence from work, and taking out loans to pay everything. I doubt that will happen.
On Friday I went out with my crew and we went and saw a beatles cover band. I�ve seen the band before, they�re pretty good. The bar we went to was such a dive, but we had an awesome time. The guys went with us this time, and C made a comment about how he thinks that it is so cool that I went up and talked to a guy the last time the girls went out. I kind of gave him a perplexed look, and he said something why he doesn�t understand why I don�t have a boyfriend. Blah blah. I swear my singledom is always the topc of conversation. Most of the time I am proud of the fact that I am single. I am a cool girl, I just taking my time, and defining my life and getting it how I want it to be. Ok, wait, if that isn�t a bunch of bullshit, I don�t know what is. Don�t get me wrong, I am definitely not one to have a boyfriend to depend on, someone to spend every waking moment with..yadda yadda yadda. But it�s at least nice to have someone to talk to about your day or something like that�.needless to say, there was no one that caught my attention Friday night at the bar.
Saturday I spent the day with my aunt and one of my cousins. We went shopping, I got lots of spring clothes. It was a good shopping day. I haven�t had one in awhile. My aunt asked me if I want to stay at their house while they�re in Florida. I told her I�d let her know�but I most likely will. I stayed with my aunt and uncle for about a month at this time last year, and I continued to stay there while they were on vacation. And plus I�ll be on break that week from school�so I guess I should do it.
Saturday night I went to a �secret treasures� aka sex toy party. It was fun. I had never been to one before, and I soon realized that out of the 15 women that were there, there were only 2 of us who were single. Please. That sucks. There was a lot of stuff, and this is gonna sound crazy, but I was getting horny. I was like, damn, too bad I don�t have someone to go home to and try something out with. I did not buy anything spectacular. I was really thinking about buying this one vibrator�but then said to myself that one is enough. I�ve had this vibrator for awhile, and I don�t really use it�but then again, I haven�t gotten off by myself in awhile�but I noticed that using a vibrator is just an excuse for a quick fix. I don�t like quick fixes. My orgasms are totally different when I use a vibrator from when I use my hand. It�s pretty interesting if you ask me. And I like hand orgasms better�(well, any orgasm from a man is better, but the hand will suffice for now)
So then we�re here to Sunday�I studied all day. It sucked. I had a cheeseburger for dinner, and I swear it was the best damn cheeseburger I ever had�.but that could be from not having something so greasy in a long time.
Thursday of this week coming up was to be my brothers 26th birthday. I don�t want to be here, and thank god I have work and school�I don�t want anyone to call and �see how I�m doing� and all that crap. If I want to talk about it, I will�and then I�ll be even more upset if someone comes to my office at work and asks me how I�m doing. I might just snap at someone. It�s best just to not ask me about it, and if I talk about fine, and if not, that�s fine too.
That�s just how I deal with things. I was thinking again that one of these days I am just gonna flip. Like I�ll just bust out crying or something. I am almost afraid of it happening. It�s hard to explain. But you know, if it happens, it happens, and if doesn�t happen, it doesn�t happen.
Yea, and I wonder what those band boys thought of the additional logos I did. That was a project in itself for sure. But if they end up using one that I did�it�s something for the resume for sure.