10:15 pm on 01-16-05
One of those sigh filled days
A huge pet peeve of mine is when someone calls and leaves a message saying, �hey it�s me, call me back��I need a reason why to call you back. Are you dying? Do you just want to talk? Did you want to go and get a drink? Geez. I need to prioritize. But then again, half the time I don�t even bother to answer my cell phone�especially when it�s in my purse. Sigh.
I�ve got readers from Iraq military bases. Notalptrixie is making it around the globe now. Someone also keeps on googling �notalptrixie diaryland�. You know, why in the heck are you doing that anyway. Just to see where else I am listed? People have too much time on their hands. I have readers in Canada and Bulgaria also. Interesting, and lots of you like to read me while you are at work. Tsk tsk.
These friends of mine�they are getting more and more domesticated and family oriented by the minute. Makes me want to vomit (which by the way was a Sunday morning event for me, more on that later). The group was together last night and all the girls talk about is being pregnant or getting pregnant. Sigh. How come no one wants to know what�s going on with me. No one asks how are classes going? How have you been feeling? Etc etc. It�s all about them, and then if they do ask me something, they eventually cut me off and start talking about their own problems. I often feel that my life or what is going on, or my problems don�t really add up to anything and that I shouldn�t be complaining, but the more I think about it, the more I feel that they weigh more than their problems. What, you said you couldn�t get the stainless steel garbage can from t@rget that you wanted? Well, I cried because my brother killed himself. You tell me which is more important and relevant to real life. Sigh.
Last night I found myself having a bit too much to drink and talking about two different things the whole night. One was the whole D thing. Making the history story short�.The one who is the father of my former best friend�s baby, they broke up and he and the current crew became my close friends and I no longer speak to psychomom. Right, he and I hooked up a couple of times, I supposedly didn�t want a boyfriend, which is usually true on my part, and he ended up dating the girl who he is with now. Last year, he and I got drunk and made out, he basically said that he was in love with me or something, broke his heart�tyadda yadda�.anyway he and I talked about that last night. I have a tendency to just let everything out when I drink. You know, you really pissed me off, but that�s ok because I am over you now is what I said to him. He replies with, �oh you mean Bridgeport days? Those days were awesome��fucker. And then he came out and said, �yea the night that I met you and psychomom, I should have talked more to you than her, I would have been better off��damn right you would have been. Too bad your loss.
Then my friend JOC asked me about J. I hadn�t seen her since xmas, and I didn�t tell her what had happened then. So of course, I was obligated to pour my little heart out. Her response, �what an asshole�. See I was beginning to think that I was wrong at the whole thing, but no I wasn�t. Everyone feels the same way. I did find out this week that below (j�s friend from nc) did not know the reason behind why I was mad at J. I wrote him back and shortly explained the reason. He totally understands why I did and said what I did. I didn�t tell him everything behind it but he said he could read between the lines. So part of me wondered if he really did know and was just trying to see what I said about it, but then he said he hadn�t talked to J in awhile so he didn�t even know how he was doing. So whatever.
Yea and this morning I felt like shitola when I woke up. That hasn�t happened in ages, I wondered if it was that shot of tequila that topped it all off�. I was forced to make myself throw up, went back to bed for a couple of hours and woke up feeling great.