1025pm on Thursdat 1/15
consistent piece of good ass
So where should I start today?? I hate work. I have been unbelievably busy, and I just don't have the time to deal with stupid shit. The one lady calls me on my phone today and tells me that I need to call the plumber because our office toilet was overflowing...I said the extension and hung up. WHy do I need to call??!! jesus.
So then I had a meeting about the event that I am volunteering at next month and we are encouraged to bring a date. Great, so now politically, I should find someone to take with me. I don't want to take anyone. I'm gonna be working for a couple of hours before the dinner..what is my date supposed to do. So amongst the email clan today, I mentioned this and K tells me to bring J (benefits buddy) with me. I say no because one, I know he wouldn't go, two, he'd have to get a tux, and three...he's been hanging out with these two girls..so he's bound to have a girlfriend by then and therefore if he did go he would ditch me. So I said this to K and she replies back something along the lines of something about us sleeping together and I had told her before that I put the whole kabosh on it. So I'm still fooling around with him, but is it really anyones business except mine and his, and maybe all you diary readers? That's right, it's no one elses business. So then she sends me this email saying that J said something...and that's all she wrote in the email..so I email back with just "what"...her reply was "promise him you won't tell him what I told you"....( like she can't just put what she wants to say in one email instead of five)...so I email her back "i promise"...which was an absolute lie. So then she proceeds to tell me about how she and J were exchanging emails the other day and they were talking about new years resolutions. J said something to the effect of giving up jerking off, K's reply was "now why would you do that"..supposedy J response was "because I have a consistent piece of ass that is good"..
Well, let me tell you how high the boiling point was!! First of all, I had some kind of understanding that the two of them weren't emailing each other and now they are?! I asked J over the weekend if he had talked to K and he said no. SO what's with the lies?! BEcause I flip out?!! Don't fucking lie and let me find out...that's why I flip out.
So of course, I emailed J with that, and he said he didn't say those exact words. He said he was sorry and that he shouldn't have replied and then he wanted to know if I was mad at him. I was so mad today, I was in tears at my desk. Now that is fucking pathetic on my part if you ask me. Here I am, sitting at my desk crying about something that there is no god damned need for me to be crying about!
I called K while at work and asked her why she didn't tell me this before. She said that she was going to tell me tomorrow night. NOw that's fucking absurd. I bet you a million dollars her ass was never going to say a thing to me.
People are fucking stupid, and I get all worked up about it.
And then I get mad that I am getting mad over this and it just makes it worse. Now mind you, I have just had alot on my mind lately, and I'm sure that this just added to the whole situation. And I know, that if I were in a normal state of whatever, I would have made some smart ass funny comment about being a consistent piece of good ass and left it at that.
I don't know of the two of them to even believe anymore.
So of course, I'm not mad about it anymore, but let me tell you. I've got enough going on that I don't need to worry about any of this shit, it almost makes me wonder about my friendships and what they really mean to me.
Why do I get mad that J goes out with other girls you ask??
Well, let's see...one, I don't want to lose our friendship. He has been the most stable constant thing in my life for the last 3 years or so. It's not that he does anything specifically, but there is at least one email a day shared between us. He knows alot more about me than a lot of other people do...and while I probably wouldn't trust him in a relationship, he is one of the only friends that I have a trusting friendship with. But when stupid shit like this happens, I start to wonder. There is never really any reason for me to get mad at him for anything that he does, and I know where I stand...but it just aggravates the hell out of me sometimes at how I react to things. That is so not me. Yea I don't even know where to go from here with this entry. It starting to sound like babble now.
ANd because I am a girl, I start to have these thoughts that he's saying stuff behind my back to K and she's saying stuff to him...I should have never asked to be part of the email group....