9:41 pm on 03-01-04
I hate lemons
Is working for 8.5 hours, and studying for 4 hours considered a little overboard? Well, if not, what if every day, I work 8.5 hours, and then I either study for 4 hours, or sit in a 4 hour class? Sometimes I think that�s overboard! Do I whine too much? If I do, feel free to leave me a note.
Although I was busy at work today, it wasn�t so bad. A manager was fired the other day�well not fired, but I guess shifted out of the position. Thank god�I was getting aggravated with the person. But I swear, every time I update the log to send out, someone freaking quits or gets the boot. I swear people will never get a complete and accurately updated one.
I�ve been planning one of our employee events coming up in April. And the last time I checked, I was in charge of everything, � .but someone in the group tends to think that he is in charge. Fuck off is all I say. He�s always sending out emails and crap before I even get a chance to think about them. They don�t even need to go out when he sends them out�ugh, aggravates the piss out of me.
I�ve discovered that they have been keeping logs at work of sites that are visited, and for some reason my diary isn�t showing up in my history file�but to be on the safe side, I might think about locking this�or I should just stop going to it while I am at work! That would be the smart thing to do. And if I do lock it�don�t worry, you�ll all get the password.
I was working on applets for my java class and the damn things were annoying me. I couldn�t get the locations to set up right. At least that homework isn�t due until midnight Friday night. I did get my other class work done though�that�s a first. I won�t be struggling Wednesday night to get it done for class on Thursday.
I received an email from my once favorite cousin today. He and I stopped hanging out and talking for some weird reason. This happened before my brother died�and then my brother was hanging out with him a lot and what not, and that could have been the reason why we ceased to hang out as much. I did not want to be part of the drinking / getting high fiascos that they always participated in. So, anyway, his email was extremely short and to the point, kind of like a checking in email. I sometimes wonder if he thinks that I am mad at him and blame him for things that happened. My brother was hanging out with my cousin the night that he got that DUI�so maybe my cousin feels bad for everything that has happened�.who knows. And while I can talk about M dying and what not with my close friends�I haven�t really talked about how I feel with my family. Of course, we�ll talk about M and what not, but we all really haven�t sat down and talked together. I think my parents talk to each other about it�but sometimes, more than not, I think we are all trying to avoid talking about it. Kind of like we�re maybe still in denial about the whole thing. Maybe our avoidance of talking about it makes us believe that it really didn�t happen. Does that sound strange?
Yea, I don�t know. I have thought about going to a support group�but for once in my life, I will admit that I am deathly afraid of doing something. Why would I, of all people, be afraid of doing this?? Especially when I know that it can only do good for me?? Oh well.
On another note�the dj that joe got into an argument with on Friday night got fired supposedly�and joe was offered a free night at the bar. Interesting.
I got an email from K today��woman, what�s up. Where have you been��well, obviously not in the mood to talk to you. Jesus. I cannot handle 800 freaking emails in 4 minutes from everyone... so I told them not to email me anymore and they all think that I got in trouble�.please, me , in trouble? Never. So I was invited to some party Friday night�.if I go though, that�s a tough decision. I already have plans for Saturday night�and I don�t think I can handle two nights out, especially with finals as close as they are.
Red asked me on the way into the city on Friday night if I was going to the concert with them on the 18th of March. I said I wasn�t invited�and he kind of gave me a look like he was surprised that I wasn�t going and asked how come�.I explained that I have finals that day anyway. Part of me wonders why I wasn�t invited...which is no big deal, but then I wonder why Red gave me that look when I said I wasn�t invited. Weird. Let me reiterate that I am a girl�and I overanalyze. Enough said.
And let me tell you all how much I hate POPups�today� I was trying to look up some information for my homework, when all of the sudden all these lemons pop up on the screen�and of course, I muttered to myself, �what the fuck�. And they wouldn�t disappear!!! CTRL � ALT � DELETE wasn�t even working. Then they start rolling around, and some ad for a debt place pops up�something about when life throws you lemons, get rid of debt. You dummies�use the phrase correctly. Your tactics aren�t very good, if anything, they are fucking annoying.
I say fuck a lot. Sorry. I have potty mouth typing.