9:03 pm on 2004-02-04
all the crushes I've loved before
I really contemplated going to the health club after work today, I was spazzing out because I had ,what seemed like, a ton of homework to do�but I went anyway, and I�m glad I did. I came home, had some chicken and did my homework and now it�s done. It wasn�t as bad as I thought it would be. This whole working out thing, I don�t know, I don�t know how much physically it�s helping me, but emotionally and mentally I have noticed a difference. Even though I have really been gung ho about it for a couple of weeks, I notice that I am in a much better mood usually, except when work gets hectic, and I am sleeping a lot better. But that could be from lack of good sleep for about a whole month or so and now I am making up for it.
I was thinking today about how when you have a crush on someone. I think I have a crush on my classmate in my java class. Oh, and by the way, cab stalker did not talk to me, or even look my way yesterday. Maybe he got the hint that I didn�t care to do his homework for him�I never even responded to his emails.
Anyway, back to my new crush�he�s a cute guy, I think 24-25. Already has one degree and is working on getting ready for the masters program. He seems like a pretty smart guy and he�s taking this class just to take it. Interesting. So anyway, we sat and chatted for awhile before class yesterday, and he wanted to make sure that stalker man wasn�t bothering me. I get a kick out of when people laugh at things I say and he laughs at the things I say�.So I remember this one time I had a crush on this guy, we�ll call him Star,�I worked with him, and he was best friends with my neighbor at the time, so I always saw him�So a couple of years ago, I was out at a bar with some friends, and star and his friends were there, so we ended up chatting and what not and I went home with him. I didn�t sleep with him but we did fool around and why I had a crush on him, I�ll never know. It was terrible!! It�s like you build up all this excitement and emotion and basically put them on a pedestal, and then you have that one chance with them�and they fall right off the pedestal. So then about 2 years ago maybe I was out again with some friends, and I ran into one of Star�s good friends. I had known this guy, and we used to leave him secret admirer notes on his car when we younger�so anyway, Chuseboy and I hooked up and dated for a couple of weeks. I think he just wanted to fuck me, because after that, he didn�t really talk to me. Prick. OH well, he wasn�t that good anyway�.and he left me a nasty hickey too. I hate that! Yea, and consensus is that I don�t suck in bed�so I am sure that wasn�t the problem (in case any of you were wondering how good in bed I was)
Well, I guess that�s it about my crushes�. Wait, there�s another one��my grammar school / high school crush lived two houses away from me and he was the coolest, and he played the drums. AKA rock star obsession�.I remember sitting by my window at night, just trying to catch a sound or two from him playing the drums, I remember warm summer nights sitting by the window, reading and feeling the cool evening wind blow and listening to the constant rhythm of his drums� (that was my poetic side)�I was actually going to ask him to senior prom, I had the balls to do it and everything, and then I found out that the bimbo foreign exchange student from Germany asked him. I was kind of pissed, but I know that he didn�t have the greatest time..so ha. I haven�t seen him in about 6 years�I wonder what ever happened to him.
Ok, one more thing�.my instructor from one of my classes sent out this email the other day and the subject was something like dead grandma syndrome or something like that. I thought about not opening it thinking it could have been a virus, but I decided that maybe it had something to do with school. So the whole point of the email was about this study that was done pertaining to students and the increase in immediate family member deaths around exam time. Mind you, we have our midterms next week. I glanced through the email, and thought to myself, what the fuck is this all about� are people making excuses like this for not being able to take the midterm. I kind of got a little ticked, only because my brother had died two weeks prior to exams last quarter. I know the instructor probably meant nothing by this email�but I still don�t know how to take it. It was a weird thing I�ll say.